Latest essay · Relationships and Attachment
Why Does Curiosity Fade When Love Is Still There?
In long relationships, fading curiosity is often mistaken for the end of love. Yet we can keep loving someone while giving up the effort to know them. The reassuring sense of “I know you” can also lead us to treat a partner as a story that has already been written…
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Emotional Burdens and Boundaries
Why Does Always Being Strong Make Us Lonely?
The person everyone calls in a crisis cannot call anyone when it is their turn. Over time, being strong can become giving up on receiving support. The unexpressed need does not disappear; this is one way loneliness takes shape…
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Couples and Intimacy
Why Do We Talk Only About Problems When We’re Trying to Save Our Relationship?
When a relationship is struggling, problems need to be discussed. But when every effort to improve things becomes an inspection of what is wrong, a shared life can start to resemble an endless fault log. The amount of talking grows without a matching increase in trust, play, or curiosity…
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Self and Meaning
Why Can’t We Stop Looking Back?
If the past cannot change, why does the mind keep returning? Often, it seeks closure rather than an outcome. Remembering and reliving are different experiences…
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Couples and Intimacy
Why Do We Stop Feeling Like Romantic Partners After Having a Child?
A child brings a new love into a relationship while fundamentally changing its old arrangements. When romance recedes, it often reflects parenthood consuming the available resources rather than love coming to an end…
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Self and Meaning
Will Controlling Everything Keep Me Safe?
Why does greater control not always mean less anxiety? Control can provide short-term security, but trust is not certainty. What distinguishes our sphere of influence from a wish for complete command?…
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Relationships and Attachment
Why Does It Hurt So Much When My Partner Is Online but Doesn’t Message Me?
Online status, last-seen timestamps, read receipts: technology gives us plenty of information without telling us what it means. What is supposed to reduce uncertainty often makes it grow. Why can silence so quickly feel like rejection?…
A calm look into the mind's inner rooms.
Vonyela publishes psychology-grounded essays on relationships, emotions and the self, drawing on clinical experience and current research.
- Written by a family and relationship therapist
- Not diagnosis; clear, calm language
- 60 essays, in English and Turkish
Şehmus NasFamily and Relationship Therapist Meet the author New essays, straight to your inbox.
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